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What Do I Do If I Have A Sexual Addiction

Upset couple in therapy session

"When you recognize that you will thrive not in spite of your losses and sorrows, but because of them, that you would not have chosen the things that happened in your life, but you are grateful for them, that you will hold the empty bowls eternally in your hands, but you also have the capacity to fill them?


(Cheryl Strayed, Brave Enough)


There Are Many Resources To Help You, You Don't Need To Do It Alone 

1. Go to the website sexhelp.com which is created by IITAP (International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals). Under the heading "Am I A Sex Addict?" take the "Sexual Addiction Screening Test", and read what the website has to offer you, it is a wealth of information for you and your partner (should you have one).

2. Educate yourself about your possible addiction. Obtain Patrick Carnes' books, "Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sex Addiction" and "Out Of The Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction". If you live in Vancouver, go to Banyan Books, Odin, Chapters or order it from Indigo or Amazon.

3. Go to a SAA meeting (sex addiction anonymous), SLA meeting (Sex and Love Addiction) there are meetings every day, all over the Lower Mainland. Their website is "SAA Vancouver" read their website, it is very informative. Find a meeting, phone and talk to a contact person. SAA and SLA is an essential resource for you in you recovery.

4. Find a "Certified Sex Addiction" therapist (CSAT, CSAT-S and ASAT). Go to ITTAP's website and search for a Certified Sex Addiction therapist in your area, under the heading, "Find A Therapist". Note, when looking for a Sex Addiction therapist, do not assume a Sex Therapist has the same knowledge and skills to assist you should you have a sex addiction as a Certified Sex Addiction therapist. Please screen your potential therapist, ask them if they have professional training in sex addiction therapy. Ask if they can they administer a SDI test for sex addiction, only Certified Sex Addiction therapists can provide and have access the SDI test. Also someone with training in "addictions therapy' does not mean they are trained in Sex Addiction Therapy. Your potential therapist should know about all the resources available for individuals and partners living with sex addiction, or "out of control sex behavior", those resources are essential to your recovery.

5. Do not do a disclosure with your partner, do it with a sex addiction therapist. There are articles on line about the consequences of a disastrous unprepared disclosures and the damage it will do to your partner, yourself and possibly to your family.

6. Support your partner they need a therapist, they are traumatized by your actions. If you have found a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, ask them for names of therapists for your partner.